What song do you think everyone should listen to once in their life ?
I’ll do you one better! A whole album J “Expandida” by Javiera Barreau (you can find it on Spotify), and if you can follow her on Instagram, you will get to listen to some songs that are unedited and so beautiful! She was a friend’s partner and a magical being. She passed away last year, and in her last few months she kept creating songs and living life intensely, and a huge circle of love was created around her. So even if you don’t speak Spanish! Please just play her songs on Spotify and enjoy the energy. Also, a song by El Árbol de Diego, another friend, called “Pajarita”, features her and it’s just beautiful.
What film is a must see ?
Captain Marvel.
I know not everyone likes MCU movies or Brie Larsen, but I loved the representation of a strong female friendship, of the lies they tell us during wars (about the “enemy”), of the gaslighting we receive as women when we show our strength and our feelings (“you are too emotional!”) and the unapologetic female power J (please watch it even if it is to analyze it from a feminist point of view).
What book is a must read ?
“How we show up” by Mia Birdsong, and “Ace” by Angela Chen.
The first one analyses the way we live our communities, which is very couple-centred, and how this leaves many people feeling left out, and she explores different ways of committing to relationships and communities, that aren’t necessarily romantic, through the experiences of different identities. I cried all the time while reading it. And “Ace” talks about asexuality and from that perspective also analyses how we relate to one another, how we see sex and desire, and also explores different forms of relationships.
What are you most grateful for ?
I’m grateful to be the multi-colored sheep of my family…and more than a narcissistic thing, I’m really humbled by that! Because being the youngest of four siblings by several years (which means my parents were kind of tired to impose things), and being exposed to more realities than other people in my town in Chile, I have been lucky enough to see that there is much more than what I had been told is right. I know not everyone has that opportunity and it’s easy to just “go with the flow”, because we are all afraid of being abandoned and rejected (it’s an evolutionary fear). I have had the opportunity to question and shed old conservative beliefs I grew up hearing, and tune in to my body and realize that they don’t make sense to me…and in that realizing that my identity is much more complex than what I thought. I have also been very privileged to have studied and earned enough money to travel and see other ways of living life, I know that’s not the case for everyone. And I’m grateful for all the suffering I have gone through, all the years of feeling like I didn’t fit in or there was something wrong with me, because it has made me resilient and motivated to help others feel accepted and loved.
I started 2020 by going back to Chile. I had been living in Manchester for a year and I hadn’t made many friends, so I felt homesick and alone. I was supposed to come to Edinburgh to do a masters in Counselling, and then the pandemic started and my government cancelled the scholarships. I was living with my parents again after 15 years of not living with them, and it was really hard. I was faced with past childhood wounds, I felt the need to defend all the self-love I had been developing in the last 2 years, and I realized that I need to heal some things before I truly can come back to my country.
On the bright side, I also had the chance to know my parents from an adult daughter perspective and accept them more, and to know myself better (even at 32! We are always learning and growing). I developed my work as a meditation and body acceptance facilitator and I got to work with so many amazing people! And now I’m in Edinburgh and figuring out what to do away from expectations, which is very exciting.
I want to leave you with a thought: Please follow what your gut and your heart tells you. I spent many years worrying about what others thought of my own path, and letting go of dreams because other people told me I wasn’t good enough, or I was too old, or too young, or whatever…but when we regret things, all the people who judge and impose their beliefs aren’t here to suffer with us. You know more than anyone what is best for you, even if you don’t feel it right now (this applies to careers, love, your body, any life decision). And you are worthy of respect and love just for being who you are. You are loved by love itself J
